Dear Denise: I keep thinking of his hook-ups during the time we had split up
Sort your love life with honest and practical tips from Denise Smith
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Dear Denise: I am just recently back with my ex. We had been together for five years and were talking about buying a house and then getting engaged so the break-up was a huge blow. A week after we split he was spotted by my friend kissing another woman, which he still denies.
We ended up breaking up for three months and as soon as I began to move on he was straight back pleading for us to try again.
He’s sex mad and wants to try all these new positions — my mind is wandering to all the other women he hooked up with and I can’t help imagining him sleeping with someone else. I don’t know if it is something I can get past.
Answer: I am not surprised that your sex life is suffering. Even the thoughts of intimacy must be really difficult when you have been hurt so badly.
Until you have an open and honest conversation, I can’t see this being resolved. He has held the power by ending your relationship, meeting other women and now slipping back into your old relationship when it suited him.
Buying a house and getting engaged are huge life commitments, and some people need to step away from a relationship to re-evaluate if they want this.
But on the flip side, your partner has showed you so little respect by ending a long-term relationship, moving on so quickly and then having the audacity to lie about it. I would think long and hard about what you want.
Email your problems to: Denise Smith denise.smith@sundayworld.com
